The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. ››Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none. ››I'd like to propose a toast to all the special 'f' words - to friends, family, fate, forgiveness, and forever. ››A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. ››I want to get the words "Courage" and "Bravery" tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me. ››I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick; I'm so mean I make medicine sick. ››I'm the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren't no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn't know about them. ››If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth. ››Never try to negotiate with anyone after he or she has eaten. People are best persuaded on an empty stomach. And forget power breakfasts. There is no convincing anyone of anything before 10 A.M. ››They say the Pharaohs built the pyramids Do you think one Pharaoh dropped one bead of sweat? We built the pyramids for the Pharaohs and we’re building for them yet. ››Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It's more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack. ››Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened...' Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different. ››
